Thoughts

I have a very hard time with the concept of Satan to the extent that I use Samael in the Southern quarter of the Circle because when I was growing up all the horror movies that were about Satan and the anti-Christ were just.so.cheesy. All the devil worshipper ones? This was the 70s and 80s. Everything was cheesy but they really went overboard on the Satan motif to the point that I can’t take it seriously. I can’t bring myself to ‘Hail Satan!’ and all that. And I always took issue with the concept of Hell. Firstly because it is clearly stated that the Fallen and Lucifer were cast down to the earth. They’re in a pit in a desert. Not at the earth’s core in some fire and lava type of place. And that was always the impression we were given. That hell was all fire and brimstone at the earth’s core, but there is a huge difference between that and a pit in the desert. It’s also written that Hell is actually a section of heaven. But ultimately, my biggest issue was this: If Satan is tempting you to sin and you do and you end up in hell, why the hell would he punish you for that? Because god made that his role? He’s a rebel. He wouldn’t do what god told him to. So, I don’t believe that if you follow Satan/Lucifer that you will be punished for eternity and I do not believe that Hell is anywhere but on earth. Because it is also written that Lucifer was condemned to walk the earth and given dominion over the earth. We are in hell now.

Now, that said. In Lucifer Princeps, he says that ultimately it’s best to treat Satan and Lucifer as one being. Fuck that. I’m not doing that. He is not one being. They are separate. What I believe is that Satan overshadowed Lucifer to such an extent people forgot Lucifer existed and who he truly is. Satan didn’t absorb Lucifer. He made him a background character. But this is the age of Lucifer and if you look back over the past few decades you can see how the world and society has been changing in accordance with that.

NOW. All that said. I have always felt I was more than I seem and that I’ve always been more powerful but that power has somehow been locked down or restricted and not necessarily by the limitations of the human form. When I was part of House Sekhemu, I identified as an emotional vampire and I had some experiences during that time. There was the idea that vampyres were descendants of the Fallen or the Watchers or something like that. And I did once feel very tangibly as though I had (and this is where the crazy talk starts) wings, but astral wings. Like I could actually feel them. Also, Paul Huson says that the Nephilim are the ancestors of witches. I could never really get behind the idea of Angels until I saw the Prophecy. That clicked for me. Those were my angels, you know? I’ve been dark and drawn to darkness my whole life and my path has been leading me towards Lucifer since the day I was born. But along the way, I’ve forgotten a lot of the teachings from Wicca that I had stored in my head like it was in a computer database. To the extent that I have forgotten how to begin again.

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